I need to narrow my creative focus. I’m too all over the place. It’s overwhelming.
I started with writing. I’m good at it, but it’s hard for me. I have a pretty decent manuscript finished, and ideas for a couple more, one started. I have a re-write project I could sign on for.
When I went back to school in 2011, it was because Mr Moth suggested it. It was because I realized, with my stalker dead and my youngest starting college and my husband employed, I could go back and finally get the degree I allowed myself to become derailed from in 1985. I chose Graphic Design as a major for three reasons. (1) No math requirement. (2) Photoshop, yo! And (3) I thought I could use the skills to maybe design my own covers and make my own ebooks, on the chance I may someday decide to self publish.
Halfway through the first year of Graphic Design, the school developed a brand new curriculum called New Media, which is audio, visual, social media, web design and development–basically everything you need for digital marketing. Like Graphic Design, it’s a business degree. I really wanted to jump ship, but by that point I was also invested in setting an example for my youngest, in not giving up. So I stayed the course, got my degree in Graphic Design, and then signed up for New Media. They even wrote a special curriculum guide to cover the second degree, allowing credit for things I had already taken, even if they weren’t quite exactly the same courses required in the second major.
I did have to take Business Math though…
Anyway, I now know how to do so many different creative things. Also, I know there are things I don’t know how to do, but now that I know they exist, I would like to learn them. Digital painting, for example. I am learning to shoot and edit videos, although photography has always been something I enjoyed, and I think I still prefer it.
However.
I miss writing. I miss it veddy much badly. And while lack of time is very much a factor, I feel like the creative demands of the programs I’ve chosen sap my creativity to the point there’s nothing left for storyteling. But when I am done, if I were to take a creative-type job, I’m guessing there would still be very little to nothing left.
I’ve accepted the fact that I’m never going to crochet again. But I still want to take photographs. And I want to make graphics. And draw.
I also need time to refill my tank. (And there is another post coming very soon, I think, just on this topic alone.) Reading, sitting on the deck, dog things, family things, browsing the second-hand stores. Vacuuming! I like for the house to be clean so I can take pictures without worrying about the sty in the background. I also like knowing where things are; it saves time. I want to spend time with my family, including my husband, which I almost never get to do anymore.
So, in summary, there are many things I need to do, and many things I want to do, and just not enough time (and lately energy) for them all.
I am going to have to narrow my focus. Decide which creative outlet I want to pursue and focus on that. I could maybe do three things, but more likely only two, and one of those is going to be writing because telling stories is what I do.
I don’t want to, though–narrow my focus. I want to do everything!
Sigh.
Narrowing focus is like choosing a shelter dog. You know you’ll love the one you pick…but what about all those others? I don’t get more dogs because I like to focus my limited resources on the ones I have, but. But. But what?
I’ll never be really good at any one thing as long as my limited resources are spread across so many potential creative fields, is but what.
Did I sigh already?
Well…SIGH.