apnea and stuff

I suspect I’m not unusual in that, when I am diagnosed with anything, I go to the web and research it.  Probably everyone who does this, does it for the same reason I do–to get some idea what to expect.  That result is iffy; everyone is different.  But the internet really helped me, back when I was practically paralyzed with anxiety and discovered Sam-E.  I really think that, in addition to alleviating the anxiety and enabling me to function emotionally again, Sam-E (and the B-complex I necessarily took with it) has also protected me from the worst of the MTHFR issues I might otherwise have developed by now.  I have also not suffered any major boil eruptions since I began taking Sam-E, and I can’t even express how huge that is.  So while I have no idea how that might work, thank you for that also, internet.  (And sorry for the TMI-grossness.)

But right now the top headline in my health news is the sleep apnea.  I have googled around, and not really found any reports, blog entries, etc., on the topic that quite reflect how I feel.  And, yanno…we don’t really know yet that how I feel is entirely caused by the apnea.  We won’t know until I get my machine and commence treatment.  If it works, it’s the apnea causing my problems.  If it doesn’t, we’ll have to resume the search, and the next step will be a neurologist because pretty much all other possibilities have been eliminated.

I’m hoping it’s the apnea, frankly.  I’m so tired of the hunt.

It’s been two weeks yesterday since the last sleep study.  They said I should have the machine in three weeks.  I still have not heard anything from anyone, except a call from the Lung Doc wanting to schedule a follow up.  His employee sounded surprised I hadn’t heard anything about the machine yet.

Frankly the delays annoy me.  Everything annoys me.  Apparently this is not an uncommon symptom among people who are chronically sleep deprived.

I kind of miss the days of not knowing I was sleep deprived.  Now I notice that I am waking up repeatedly, panting like I have just run a marathon.  Less so, if I fall asleep sitting up on the sofa, but that is only good for a couple of hours, when my legs go to sleep and the tingling wakes me up.

I also try to sleep on my stomach, but that is not extremely comfortable either because, well…boobs.

Sigh.  What a whinebag I am!

And yet I whine.  Today’s whine is, I should not have to sit around for three weeks waiting on a phone call.  (It has taken me four days to write this entry.)  My three weeks is up on Sunday, so I called today (Friday) and spoke to a fellow named Mike who said my xpap is n the “final stages of pre-approval with the insurance company.”  That would be BCBSAnthemWhatever.

Color me unsurprised, and put some symbols in a little balloon over my head.  Rassafrassin sassafrassin insurance.

One of the side-effects of apnea is emotional instability.  So when you read on the news that some crazy middle age fat lady fed her pet dragon exlax laced with napalm and flew over the Anthem headquarters, you won’t have to wonder why.  You’ll know why.

She was tired.

Mike said that I should hear early next week, and if I don’t hear by Tuesday I should call their Respiratory Therapist Anne and inquire again.

Nagging.  It is my super power, and remains so even in my depleted state.

Making a grocery list, not so much, so I need to go do that.  Zor, our living-with-us adult kid, got a restaurant job this week so she can save up to buy a car and pay her tuition at the next school, and we are all adjusting to that.  They feed her there, so that means I don’t have to take her taste into account for some dinners, whee!  On the other hand, I don’t know what her schedule is going to be, so boo!

Flexibility.  I heard of that once.  I think it’s something reserved for people who don’t have obligations.