a day in the life

wake up cursing and shut off alarm

stumble to bathroom and pee

put on slippers

take down baby gate, stagger to kitchen, let dogs out

empty dishwasher

microwave coffee water

let one dog in, let cat out

make coffee

let other dog in

take first round of pills

spill coffee on my night shirt  (hence why I don’t get dressed until later)

let cat in

race down the hall trying to bet dogs to the bed


pet dogs on the bed instead of making it

to to office, turn on light, and check to make sure no hamsters are caught in the bars of their cages

feed hamsters while thinking about starting a recycling container for uneaten hamster food but decide (again) there isn’t enough of it to do the wildlife any good.

internet w/ coffee

wake up zor

breakfast, usually a whole wheat english muffin with peanut butter, a banana, a boiled egg, and a glass of vegetable juice

pack my lunch

morning ablutions, dressing, and departure

drive to school

drop off zor at the main campus, drive to the other campus

attend school

pick up zor

drive home from school

homecoming with dogs scene where Cobie always has a nylabone in his mouth and a helicopter tail going on, and at some point he lets me (T-Moth also, when he comes home) take the bone and pretend to gnaw on it, crunch crunch crunch

let dogs out

avoid the sofa because there’s obviously a pygmy with a tranquilizer blow gun in it who shoots me in the ass every time I sit down

let one dog in and cat out

forget and sit on the sofa, and get shot in the ass by the evil sofa pygmy

fight off effects of blow gun dart, sometimes more effectively than others

let other dog in

family members who are not yet home begin to arrive, which inspires a nylabone-with-helicopter-tail scene re-enactment, and they almost immediately disperse to their separate dens and lairs

hate life because I have to get off the sofa and cook in spite of having been shot in the ass with a tranquilizer

let cat in

cobble together some kind of food (loving and admiring Regan the possessed stove in spite of everything)

chase cat off kitchen table a hundred and eleventy million times

family begins to emerge from dens and lairs


clean up and load amazing dishwasher that actually fits things and gets them clean

retreat with husband to sofa for an hour of tv and companionship

let dogs out, in, out, in, out, in, out, in, out

go outside to see why dogs are barking

make dogs come in

award carrots

play indoor fetch with the ballistic boomerang

go to bed

award more treats

award self a sugar-free mint


break tiny remaining scrap of mint in half and share with dogs


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